Too close to home?

I have been feeling, lately, that my focus is too centered on myself and my life. All of my energy is going into one little 4-plex and my small circle of friends. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with that, I just must admit to a wish to also, at some point, have energy again for the larger world. It is possible that it is partly a gender issue. I have noticed that a fair number of the male-originated blogs and books I read touch on the personal, but are a lot more focused on wider ideas and thoughts. The opposite may be true for the female. This may be BS – after all, Walden was a very personal, home and hearthly, account.

I am hoping that I am starting at the point of the stone hitting the water. I would ideally like to mostly have my bearings and have my ecoplex soundly in the right direction in a couple of years, with only some maintenance and thought required. At that point I hope to be able to devote energy to the street I live on – inviting neighbors to a garden demo/harvest feast, starting a community garden, getting a playground and sidewalks and traffic calming put in, starting a community group. As time went on, this circle would move outwards. At the same time, I would be able to put down the home improvement and gardening books and read more of the thought provoking books that sit on my bookshelf, waiting for the few minutes between when my 6 year old falls asleep and I do.

I have always found community outreach (i.e. dealing with strangers) difficult though, and I’m guessing my life will continually be a reaching out and then a pulling back to my own circle to regroup and regain energy. As far as worldly, or provoking, thought – well, I’ve always been a very practical person, so that is also a stretch. I truly believe, however, that my attempts at practical actions will fall short if I don’t continually remind myself of the spheres beyond my own world, and the complex interrelationships holding us all in balance.

Now if just that dang rented carpet cleaner would work!!!


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